Google buys DoubleClick for $3.1bn

Who makes huge decisions on Friday the 13th? Google does! DoubleClick, the online enabler between advertisers and agencies, was purchased yesterday by the googopoly in its biggest buyout yet--just six months after the $1.65bn YouTube acquisition. By my calculations, Google will own the entire Internet by the end of next year (really, the only things left are Wikipedia, MySpace and Facebook. And maybe Perez Hilton.).

"It has been our vision to make Internet advertising better -- less intrusive, more effective, and more useful . . . Together with Doubleclick, Google will make the Internet more efficient for end users, advertisers, and publishers." -Sergey Brin, Google co-founder and president

For some reason, antitrust laws don't apply to Google--but who's complaining? Google has made everyone's life easier by making Internet advertising--and the Internet--more relevant and less intrusive through, arguably, the best quality control systems on the planet (hehehe!). But seriously, I challenge you to give me a reason why Google Internet domination is a bad thing. Do it.

And what about after they've conquered the web? They'll begin purchasing third world countries, working their way up to the Big Seven--ultimately making the world less intrusive, more effective, and more useful! Shhh, just let it happen. It's inevitable.